An Honest Review of The First Trimester of Pregnancy

Pregnancy is, by far, the strangest thing I have ever been through. It’s like I’ve lost my mind & can’t quite find it. 

I got lost in the public restroom the other day. Instead I tried to walk into a nursing room, where I was kindly told I was going the wrong way. 

I ugly cried in front of someone I had barely met. Thankfully it was at church & she immediately started praying for me and comforting me. I hope God blesses her all her life because she changed my whole pregnant day around.

You must also know there are two different kind of cheese sticks in our fridge which have basically kept me alive. 

Along with toast.

My tummy does not look pregnant in a cute way; it looks pregnant in a bloated whale kind of way. I’m stuck between hiding it and hoping it’s not noticed and putting a hand on it hoping people will assume I’m pregnant. Which is a dangerous thing to do, people.

My digestive system has quit on me. Weird stuff, friends.

I can barely jog without getting totally out of breath. It doesn’t make sense!! It’s not like the babe is chilling in my lungs! 

I’ve beelined for the toilet one too many times trying to cook a meal that smells like my worst nightmare. I don’t want to smell food, I barely want to eat it, and I could live with packaged snacks as my sustenance for the rest of my life. 

 

On the other hand....

I’m adjusting to a whole new side of who I am. Being a mom is a whole new identity (although never do I want my worth to be determined outside of Jesus’ love). But now it’s a part of who I get to be.

Who I will become.

I’ve watched my husband seamlessly step into the role of providing for a family. Heard him talk about plans in order to grow our little family. I’ve watched him give up huge breakfasts & instead opt for cereal and making me a piece of toast when I drag myself out of bed. I know it’s probably not easy to watch your wife lose it sometimes, or fun to hear her in the bathroom throwing up what you just bought her for dinner. I imagine it is annoying to not be able to do a thing for the person you love the most. So I watch him do what he can- stay with me even in the sick times.

I witnessed my Savior orchestrate the timing of this birth in ways only He can. He’s teaching me through all of this insanity! 

And I watched a tiny, marvelous human being arch its back in the shadows of an ultrasound, heard it’s heart beat fast and alive. There is a miracle growing in my womb, using my body as a place to thrive.

Pregnancy is pushing the boundaries of my comfort zone and, soon, the bounds of my heart. So I will grow through this process, letting it shape me into the woman God wants me to be, letting it shape the real, human life fluttering within me.

Even though it is the strangest thing I have ever gone through, I know it’s worth it. So I’m okay with the first trimester.

-Sara